You may wonder how I chose this title... and even think to yourself, what is this about? Are you intrigued? Let me first reflect on the title, I started with the "west vs. the east." I believe this is because I was raised in a predominantly western society/culture. I definitely identify as Asian-American and maybe sometimes as Korean-American or Chinese-American. So that is a little background, but the more important things come next...
The topic of discussion is the difference between girls in both societies/cultures. First of all, I am generalizing when describing western and eastern society. I make them entities and I know and acknowledge that they are comprised of separate countries, cultures, ethnic groups, etc. but I am noticing differences between the general populations. This topic came from an idea my friend gave me from Rokkasho. We were talking about the differences between Korean and Japanese girls and she said she would write an article about it. She is also a Korean CIR and she has her own article... dangerous...
Being raised in all of western societies, i.e. Mexico, Canada, England and the US, I have been exposed to the norms of dating, romance and sexuality in the context of the west. I would say up until college, I was only interested in caucasian girls because a number of things. I was always around caucasian people as they make the majority of the population and there was not that much diversity around me. Also, I didn't connect with other Chinese or Asians because I didn't know who I was yet. My parents also were a little protective of me in high school, so it pushed me to resent Asian/Asian-American girls and focused on caucasian girls.
When I got to college, it seemed all the girls I was able to get were all Asians or Asian-Americans. I don't know why, but I think karma came around for me. It was then where I was exposed to Japanese, Korean and Hmong girls. I liked other girls too, but all I ever dated were all of Asian descent. In terms of assimilation, the Hmong people are a very young ethnic group in the US and I think they are still very much traditional in their ways. For people like me, being Asian-American, I have found a balance to my parent's traditions and the American way of life. My parents say they want me to marry whoever makes me happy and loves me, but deep deep down, I think they want to marry another Asian girl. The saying, "Birds of a feather flock together," comes to mind. I don't mind marrying an Asian girl as long as I find what I am looking for. And I would assume everyone is in it for the same thing. Love, marriage and kids. Well, at one point in everyone's lives... some are quicker to find it than others.
I will talk about some differences I have noticed. One of the things that I notice most is the shyness of guys when it comes to talking to girls. I know this is not specifically about girls, but it is interesting nonetheless. I teach high school in 大間町 and have noticed that the boys are a lot more shy than the girls. I have been told this before I came, but it was very prevalent when I was on my trip to Rokunohe with the rugby team (see previous post). The girls were also ready for a photo opportunity where the boys would shy away from it and hide behind each other. Another example is when I asked the two 3rd years if they had boyfriends and suggested it was on the rugby team or in the high school, they laughed and waived it off as though the boys were not even worth their time. (Both of them are dating older guys who are closer to my age, which made me very uncomfortable.) I think with time, the guys opened up and relaxed around me a little more. But the willingness for girls to do that immediately shows the differences in cultures. In the United States of America, girls and boys are not as shy as they are in Japan. If a girl or boy is shy, it is because they usually lack self-confidence. But most of my high school friends were loud, seeking attention and wanting to be cool in the popular crowd. This brings me to the next point, if guys are so shy in Japan, then how do they ever get to ask a girl out. In the USA, it is almost always assumed that the guy will ask a girl out. The girl does not want to look desperate, slutty, fill in the adjective of your choice and plus many girls like the guy to show the initiative. It is very rare to find a girl who is good, "normal" and not sexually overactive to ask a guy out on a date. I am not saying it does not happen, but most of the time, the guy does most of the work. I don't know how it is like in Japan, but I assume the guy asks the girl out only after they have known each other for a while.
A blatant contrast between girls and relationships between the east and the west is how many boyfriends they have had. Now the girls who are hanging out with foreign men are a bit different in that they know what it takes to be with a gaijin guy. But the ones who are just a normal, Japanese or Asian girl really takes the relationship very seriously. I get the feeling that everytime an Asian woman has a boyfriend, depending on their age and situation, their mindset is marriage or long term relationship. I know in the US, girls have a very independent mindset. They have their own goals and want to have their own careers. If they have a relationship, great, but it is not the end of the world if they do not.
Maybe it is different because I am a boy, but in the USA, everyone has some fun and has their fair share of boyfriends and girlfriends. I am only 22 years old and I already feel that if I get into a relationship here in Japan, I will be expected to be in it for a long time. I am not opposed to a long term relationship, but I don't want to commit too early, too soon. It is also that I have not met the right girl yet... maybe I will in Japan or Asia... maybe I won't. I can't tell you my future because I honestly don't know. When people ask me, "How many girlfriends have you had?" I have to ask, "In what period of my life?" I am not at all a playa and definitely don't sleep around just to screw over girls. (Sorry, no pun intended) I am just a normal guy. I will admit I do flirt a lot and this has gotten me into trouble more often than I can remember, but that is who I am. I am not going to change for someone. I hope that someone would not change themselves for me.
This is all I can think of right now... I will be adding more to it as I experience more and more! Addendum: Please don't take this to be fact or truth or at all objective. These are my experiences and observations from what I have experienced. The things I talk about have been happening in patterns and I thought they would be interesting to share. Please do not be offended. Thanks!
The topic of discussion is the difference between girls in both societies/cultures. First of all, I am generalizing when describing western and eastern society. I make them entities and I know and acknowledge that they are comprised of separate countries, cultures, ethnic groups, etc. but I am noticing differences between the general populations. This topic came from an idea my friend gave me from Rokkasho. We were talking about the differences between Korean and Japanese girls and she said she would write an article about it. She is also a Korean CIR and she has her own article... dangerous...
Being raised in all of western societies, i.e. Mexico, Canada, England and the US, I have been exposed to the norms of dating, romance and sexuality in the context of the west. I would say up until college, I was only interested in caucasian girls because a number of things. I was always around caucasian people as they make the majority of the population and there was not that much diversity around me. Also, I didn't connect with other Chinese or Asians because I didn't know who I was yet. My parents also were a little protective of me in high school, so it pushed me to resent Asian/Asian-American girls and focused on caucasian girls.
When I got to college, it seemed all the girls I was able to get were all Asians or Asian-Americans. I don't know why, but I think karma came around for me. It was then where I was exposed to Japanese, Korean and Hmong girls. I liked other girls too, but all I ever dated were all of Asian descent. In terms of assimilation, the Hmong people are a very young ethnic group in the US and I think they are still very much traditional in their ways. For people like me, being Asian-American, I have found a balance to my parent's traditions and the American way of life. My parents say they want me to marry whoever makes me happy and loves me, but deep deep down, I think they want to marry another Asian girl. The saying, "Birds of a feather flock together," comes to mind. I don't mind marrying an Asian girl as long as I find what I am looking for. And I would assume everyone is in it for the same thing. Love, marriage and kids. Well, at one point in everyone's lives... some are quicker to find it than others.
I will talk about some differences I have noticed. One of the things that I notice most is the shyness of guys when it comes to talking to girls. I know this is not specifically about girls, but it is interesting nonetheless. I teach high school in 大間町 and have noticed that the boys are a lot more shy than the girls. I have been told this before I came, but it was very prevalent when I was on my trip to Rokunohe with the rugby team (see previous post). The girls were also ready for a photo opportunity where the boys would shy away from it and hide behind each other. Another example is when I asked the two 3rd years if they had boyfriends and suggested it was on the rugby team or in the high school, they laughed and waived it off as though the boys were not even worth their time. (Both of them are dating older guys who are closer to my age, which made me very uncomfortable.) I think with time, the guys opened up and relaxed around me a little more. But the willingness for girls to do that immediately shows the differences in cultures. In the United States of America, girls and boys are not as shy as they are in Japan. If a girl or boy is shy, it is because they usually lack self-confidence. But most of my high school friends were loud, seeking attention and wanting to be cool in the popular crowd. This brings me to the next point, if guys are so shy in Japan, then how do they ever get to ask a girl out. In the USA, it is almost always assumed that the guy will ask a girl out. The girl does not want to look desperate, slutty, fill in the adjective of your choice and plus many girls like the guy to show the initiative. It is very rare to find a girl who is good, "normal" and not sexually overactive to ask a guy out on a date. I am not saying it does not happen, but most of the time, the guy does most of the work. I don't know how it is like in Japan, but I assume the guy asks the girl out only after they have known each other for a while.
A blatant contrast between girls and relationships between the east and the west is how many boyfriends they have had. Now the girls who are hanging out with foreign men are a bit different in that they know what it takes to be with a gaijin guy. But the ones who are just a normal, Japanese or Asian girl really takes the relationship very seriously. I get the feeling that everytime an Asian woman has a boyfriend, depending on their age and situation, their mindset is marriage or long term relationship. I know in the US, girls have a very independent mindset. They have their own goals and want to have their own careers. If they have a relationship, great, but it is not the end of the world if they do not.
Maybe it is different because I am a boy, but in the USA, everyone has some fun and has their fair share of boyfriends and girlfriends. I am only 22 years old and I already feel that if I get into a relationship here in Japan, I will be expected to be in it for a long time. I am not opposed to a long term relationship, but I don't want to commit too early, too soon. It is also that I have not met the right girl yet... maybe I will in Japan or Asia... maybe I won't. I can't tell you my future because I honestly don't know. When people ask me, "How many girlfriends have you had?" I have to ask, "In what period of my life?" I am not at all a playa and definitely don't sleep around just to screw over girls. (Sorry, no pun intended) I am just a normal guy. I will admit I do flirt a lot and this has gotten me into trouble more often than I can remember, but that is who I am. I am not going to change for someone. I hope that someone would not change themselves for me.
This is all I can think of right now... I will be adding more to it as I experience more and more! Addendum: Please don't take this to be fact or truth or at all objective. These are my experiences and observations from what I have experienced. The things I talk about have been happening in patterns and I thought they would be interesting to share. Please do not be offended. Thanks!
2 comments:
Brian,
Tks for encourage me to practice English by saying you are looking forward to my comment.
I think you are a very honest guy.
But you said up until college, you was only interested in caucasian girls.which I think until now,you are still only interested in caucasian girls by read your words [I `don't mind` marrying an Asian girl] . I think if your ideal type of girl is caucasian, you should just keep on trying to find your true love from them but not to marry a Asia girl as a substitute.
About the Japanese youngsters,I don`t know them well for I don`t work at school. sometimes I go to the highshchool to watch their club activities which they always touch me so much by their serious attitude and I couldn`t find any kind of shy from there.
The addendum is so amazing that changed the whole of my thinkings towards your writings. I am sorry to have post mean comment about it.
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